The Punishment

I think when you have multiple kids, you always have one that seems to push your buttons, and really enjoy it too! I know that I was myself that button pusher for my Mom, and I just as certainly know that my button pusher's name is Ian. Trust me when I say, this is NOT an innocent until proven guilty situation................he has already been tried by a jury of me, and duly punished. Even justly punished, if you will. However, several of the other sitting judges (mainly my husband) think that the sentence was a little harsh and would like for the accused to earn time off for good behavior. Here's the scenario: Ian sometimes makes very bad decisions. Let's say that I have told him THOUSANDS of times, nightly, daily, even, that it is ok to have a piece of *candy* if he asks me first. But, if he takes *candy* and hides it from me, he will face the consequences of not only doing what he is not supposed to do, but then also going so far as to hide the evidence. The other morning, Emma comes to me and says, "I know where Ian is stashing his *candy wrappers*". Oh? I say, very calmly too, I might add, "show me". We have, in our bathroom, a step stool that has a storage compartment below the step. Inside the step stool is a large quantity of *candy wrappers*. (bad decision #1) Instead of getting angry, frustrated, and overall pissed off, I woke my son as usual, lead him into the bathroom, point at the stool and ask him if he has anything that he would like to explain to me. He really wants to cop an attitude and starts to tell me "what, it's a step stool" (bad decision #2). I stop him to tell him that he is already in trouble, and that the next words he chooses to use will determine how severe of a punishment he will receive. Think carefully, I tell him. He ponders this for a minute and then admits that he had stashed those *candy wrappers* months ago and had forgotten about them. (bad decision #3, do you see a pattern here?) I ask him how many *candy wrappers* he thinks are in there. Four or five was his guess. I have him count them as he removes them from the stool. Not 4, not 5, but 18 *candy wrappers* are in the stool. I refuted his belief that he had stashed them months ago because I recognized the distinctive *wrappers* from Christmas *candy*, which was only weeks ago. I decided that to make an impact as to how wrong this decision of his was, I would tie the punishment directly to the crime, instead of arbitrarily throwing something out in the wind, as I normally do. (We all have to have our New Year's Resolutions). I told him that he would be restricted from the WII and the computer for 18 days (see the coorelation?). Now, you have to understand, that in our family, the WII is only played during weekends or when there is no school. So, 18 days of no WII, counting only WII playing days, is February 22nd. Considering the amount of work that I had to do to clean up the *candy wrappers*, I don't think that is uncalled for. Afterall, he gets the computer as soon as February 2nd, as he can play the computer whenever homework gets done. So, my husband is standing behind me, but quietly trying to nudge me into this whole time off for good behavior deal. I kind of think that he should have good behavior anyways. This is the child that when we need to leave for school at 0800, will STILL be lying naked in his bed at 0755, despite how many times I have gone up to his room and told him to get dressed. I don't know that compliance to the family rythym should be rewarded as "good behavior". Afterall, Gavin and Emma don't get rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do. They get up, they get dressed, and they come down stairs. Fairly simple and straightforward. If I reward Ian for doing the exact same thing, don't I set myself up for either the other two misbehaving so they can get rewarded or a serious case of sibling jealousy? Ian constantly throws his clothes on his bedroom floor, instead of the laundry basket in his room. Do I reward him for putting his laundry away where he is SUPPOSED to? These would be monumental changes for Ian, and although they would make my life much easier, I'm not sure that I want to start rewarding him for the bare minimum that he supposed to do anyways. What will happen when its February 23rd? Do the clothes go back on the floor, and the stressful, running late trips to school start again? So, if you happen to have any ideas or thoughts you'd like to share............I could certainly use some creativity!!!

**Sordid details of the story have been changed to protect the perpetrator's sensitive feelings**

The long awaited McDonald's - Hallmark story.....

My friend, Kathy, finally, after several years of trying, convinced me to join the Cub Scouts. We have had more fun than I could have imagined! For Christmas, we took the Tiger Scouts (6 and 7 year old 1st graders) caroling to a Retirement Home. The boys did a fine job with all their songs, and, after they were done, we encouraged them to walk around the room and introduce themselves to the residents and wish them a Merry Christmas. Some of the residents had sung along with the boys, some had clapped, and some were crying. It was a moving experience. Now, as you can imagine, 6 of the 7 boys worked that room in 3 seconds flat.........shook hands, said hi, and were ready to go. For a Mom who had just been moved by the emotions in the room, I was a little disappointed in my son, who is usually very gregarious. He kind of zoomed through that room like he was Mario Andretti. In hindsight, I realize that for a 6 year old, some of the residents (wheel chair and bed bound) may have been a little scary, and didn't inspire long chats. The 7th boy however, (Kathy's son) was simply amazing. A kinder spirited, more caring, 6 year old can not be found on the face of the Earth. He greeted each and every resident, made eye contact, asked them their life story, shared some of his own, and made the rest of us wait 15 minutes while he brought Christmas magic to every person in that room. Some of us decided to take the boys out for an icecream at McDonald's after we left the Retirement Home. (only in Florida). Kathy's son, Jimmy, immediately spied 2 older couples sitting outside drinking coffee at a table. He was really caught up in the mood and really wanted to sing these 4 people Christmas caroles. Unfortunately, he was on his own. The other boys wanted nothing to do with more singing and had their eys set on icecream. Jimmy begged and pleaded with his Mom to the point where the couple took notice that they were being spoken about. Kathy, who, once you know her, you completely get why her boys are they way they are, walked over to the two couples and explained that we had just been caroling and that Jimmy really wanted to sing to them and would they mind if he sang for them. Who's going to disappoint a Cub Scout? Now, one thing that makes Jimmy so absolutely precious is that he has a hard time pronouncing the "r" sound, and really wanted to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. So, you have to use your own imagination here to visualize Jimmy, in his full Cub Scout uniform, with a red Santa hat, singing by himself, in a slight lisp, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". At this point, I shooed all of the rest of the boys outside to sing with their fellow Cub Scout. All of a sudden, this "gang" of teenage boys, who had been sitting inside, jumped up and ran outside to the table. Now, without being disrespectful, I can tell you that these boys looked a little omnimous. Some of them had tattoos, some had hats on backwards, and one had those baggy jeans that hang around the knees. I was counting how many Dads we had in our group in case we needed a show of force to protect our little Tiger Scouts. One of them said, "can we sing too", and everyone, 4 Cub Scouts, 4 older people with their coffees, Kathy, and 5 teenage hoodlumish boys, all started to sing "we wish you a Merry Christmas". It turned out that the boys were a part of the local high school chorus group, and added their rich baritone voices to the singing. As they were sitting right outside the doors, everyone inside could hear them and the employees started to sing, and the other customers in the store were either singing or smiling and for 15 seconds, it was if Christmas Spirit was a tangible powder that had covered everything. And, as fast as it had happened, it was over. The boys said "goodnight" and all jumped into their cars, the older couples got up and left, and we all got our icecreams and sat down. It was truly a Hallmark moment, set in place by one small Cub Scout.

My sister, my friend

My sister is my very best friend. Oh, sure, I have lots of other friends who are incredibly dear to me and without their presence in my life, I would be adrift. But, my sister, makes me whole. As much as it confounds my poor hubby, I talk to my sister on the phone easily once or twice a day.......sometimes with back to back conversations. When the planets are not aligned and I miss a day of talking to her, it's like we haven't spoken in weeks. We have children who are the same age, we both face the same challenges of motherhood, she honestly loves my children, she actually thinks that at times I am a decent Mom, and she empowers me daily to be a better Mom, a better woman, a better person. She is always the voice of reason. I have called her with tears of joy and with tears of frustration, and she has never let me down. Ok, once in a while I can't find her via her many different phones, and I get a little miffed............afterall, when I need her, nobody else will do! (wow, that almost sounds like a stalker). Recently, she brought my Mom down for an afternoon and the three of us went shopping and had lunch and it was an amazingly fun time. (see, those friends of mine that ground me took my kids so I could spend this time with my Mom and sister) It makes me wish that we lived closer............although, if we did, I would never get anything done! So, for the sake of friendship, sisterhood, and family, I am committed to keep up with my blogging this year...............I honestly think she may come down to my home (about 100 miles away) and manipulate my fingers on the keyboard if I don't start blogging more. Hey, that actually might be a good way of having her visit me...........Here's a shout out to my sister, my best friend. NOW...........stop bugging me to blog!! LOL (stay tuned for more sister pressured blogs to come)

PTO

I realize that my blog is titled Inside the Life of a PTO MOM, and yet, I haven't once blogged about PTO. I am really struggling with whether I should stay involved with the PTO next year. I am, in the 4th year on the Board, 2 as Volunteer Chair, and 2 as Vice President. I feel that everyone at the school is looking to me to be the President next year. The problem is that I am burned out, sorta.........I have all of the intellectual converations in my head weighing the pros and cons of staying on the board. On the con side, it seems like we have less and less parental involvement each year. We have 8 position on our board, and within the first 9 weeks, one of the Moms stepped down, leaving only 7. The week of one of our biggest fund raisers, our Treasurer quit, leaving us to scamble to make sure we could pay all of our entertainers. The Monday after our Friday big event, our Special Events person left. So, half way through the year, there are only 4 of us working hard to make sure everything doesn't fall apart. Of the four of us, one is 6 weeks away from having her 4th baby.......although, she is one of the hardest working members, and I actually do not imagine that changing, even with a new baby to care for.........she is simply amazing. On top of all of the stress of juggling many different positions, and just letting some things go, many of the parents are unforgiving and incompassionate about things. I can't tell you how many e mails the President and I get that are just not nice. Who wants to sign up for that? I could easily just show up at events, do the bare minimum, and leave......well, ok, maybe I couldn't do that afterall..............which leads me to the pros of being on the Board. I enjoy being "In the know" at the school. I enjoy having an inside track on information. I enjoy being a part of a group. I enjoy being validated. I enjoy being "in the loop". I am not sure that I can NOT be a part of this. The other part of the problem is that not many people from the current board are coming back to next year's board. Can I really abandon everything that I have worked so hard on for the past 4 years to a group of new parents, some who may be brand new to the school and so don't know how things are done? I am an out of the box thinker, and so am not opposed to new ideas and new ways of doing things...........and I am sure that no matter what, the school will continue, even if I am not in any position of authority. I am just very conflicted as to what I should do. My hubby would love for me to not be on the board as he thinks that then I cam stay at home all day and clean the house. I'm not sure that is the life I signed up for though. What's a PTO, Stay at Home, Mom to do???

My Post Office Story

Ok, so I called my sister with this story and she said that it was "blog-worthy" so here goes.......I was at the post office mailing a Chinese New Year outift to my sister for her youngest daughter. I was at the counter and there were 4 people waiting in line: a stressed out looking lady, a construction worker, and a man in a business suit. The post office lady was helping me, so my back was turned to the people waiting. Now, you know how a post office is, it is a quasi library. Everyone is quiet, you keep a respectful distance between you and the people around you, as if what they are mailing is highly personal information. So, you can imagine the shock and surprise when the stressed out lady all of a sudden, in a very loud and hostile tone, said, "you have no idea what it's like to walk in my shoes. Nobody can judge me" I can tell you without any exaggeration, that the 7 of us all turned in unison to look for the gun we were sure she had in her hand. We were in the middle of a crazy gun weilding lady situation. We were all looking for the fastest escape route, the best place to duck behind cover, and quickest way out. The only one who was unaware of what was going on was the crazy, stressed out lady, who was so busy talking on her blue tooth that she has no idea the panic she had just caused. There was a large collective sigh amongst the rest of us when we all realized at the same time that there was no gun and she was indeed talking to someone on the phone. We all kind of made eye contact with each other and smiled and congratulated ourselves that we had just survived this ordeal. she continued with her many sided conversation and mailed whatever she was mailing, never aware of the rest of us. Too bad she won't have a story to blog about!