The Punishment

I think when you have multiple kids, you always have one that seems to push your buttons, and really enjoy it too! I know that I was myself that button pusher for my Mom, and I just as certainly know that my button pusher's name is Ian. Trust me when I say, this is NOT an innocent until proven guilty situation................he has already been tried by a jury of me, and duly punished. Even justly punished, if you will. However, several of the other sitting judges (mainly my husband) think that the sentence was a little harsh and would like for the accused to earn time off for good behavior. Here's the scenario: Ian sometimes makes very bad decisions. Let's say that I have told him THOUSANDS of times, nightly, daily, even, that it is ok to have a piece of *candy* if he asks me first. But, if he takes *candy* and hides it from me, he will face the consequences of not only doing what he is not supposed to do, but then also going so far as to hide the evidence. The other morning, Emma comes to me and says, "I know where Ian is stashing his *candy wrappers*". Oh? I say, very calmly too, I might add, "show me". We have, in our bathroom, a step stool that has a storage compartment below the step. Inside the step stool is a large quantity of *candy wrappers*. (bad decision #1) Instead of getting angry, frustrated, and overall pissed off, I woke my son as usual, lead him into the bathroom, point at the stool and ask him if he has anything that he would like to explain to me. He really wants to cop an attitude and starts to tell me "what, it's a step stool" (bad decision #2). I stop him to tell him that he is already in trouble, and that the next words he chooses to use will determine how severe of a punishment he will receive. Think carefully, I tell him. He ponders this for a minute and then admits that he had stashed those *candy wrappers* months ago and had forgotten about them. (bad decision #3, do you see a pattern here?) I ask him how many *candy wrappers* he thinks are in there. Four or five was his guess. I have him count them as he removes them from the stool. Not 4, not 5, but 18 *candy wrappers* are in the stool. I refuted his belief that he had stashed them months ago because I recognized the distinctive *wrappers* from Christmas *candy*, which was only weeks ago. I decided that to make an impact as to how wrong this decision of his was, I would tie the punishment directly to the crime, instead of arbitrarily throwing something out in the wind, as I normally do. (We all have to have our New Year's Resolutions). I told him that he would be restricted from the WII and the computer for 18 days (see the coorelation?). Now, you have to understand, that in our family, the WII is only played during weekends or when there is no school. So, 18 days of no WII, counting only WII playing days, is February 22nd. Considering the amount of work that I had to do to clean up the *candy wrappers*, I don't think that is uncalled for. Afterall, he gets the computer as soon as February 2nd, as he can play the computer whenever homework gets done. So, my husband is standing behind me, but quietly trying to nudge me into this whole time off for good behavior deal. I kind of think that he should have good behavior anyways. This is the child that when we need to leave for school at 0800, will STILL be lying naked in his bed at 0755, despite how many times I have gone up to his room and told him to get dressed. I don't know that compliance to the family rythym should be rewarded as "good behavior". Afterall, Gavin and Emma don't get rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do. They get up, they get dressed, and they come down stairs. Fairly simple and straightforward. If I reward Ian for doing the exact same thing, don't I set myself up for either the other two misbehaving so they can get rewarded or a serious case of sibling jealousy? Ian constantly throws his clothes on his bedroom floor, instead of the laundry basket in his room. Do I reward him for putting his laundry away where he is SUPPOSED to? These would be monumental changes for Ian, and although they would make my life much easier, I'm not sure that I want to start rewarding him for the bare minimum that he supposed to do anyways. What will happen when its February 23rd? Do the clothes go back on the floor, and the stressful, running late trips to school start again? So, if you happen to have any ideas or thoughts you'd like to share............I could certainly use some creativity!!!

**Sordid details of the story have been changed to protect the perpetrator's sensitive feelings**